Creating my Own Space and Owning Rejection
Updated: Jun 8, 2022
Sitting in a quiet village on the Umbria, Lazio, Tuscany border and updating my website. (Well, mostly quiet. My downstairs neighbor spends 50% of her time yelling into her phone and the other 50% yelling at "Ugo" who I believe to be her dog. Or... husband? Either way: impressive breath control.) Last year I applied to a bunch of residencies and writing retreats. See, I had spent the previous year in Care work and I wanted to spend this year reflecting on all my experiences so far and writing a book(several books, actually that I still insist are one.) I didn't get into any of them so when the opportunity to teach at the Welcome Festival in Rome came up I started trying to work out how to create a trip where I could get enough work(but like, soul fullfilling work. But like, soul fulfilling paid work) to create space to take myself on some writing retreats.
I am nothing if not a hustler.
And the thing is: I really believe in what I do. I don't offer classes I don't want to teach and I try to keep my independent workshops available to anyone's budget(even if that budget is zero). It's a constant struggle between my values and needing to eat with a splash of ego thrown in for good measure. And such is life.
Anyway. I gave myself a month after the festival and some workshops in Padova. I searched for the cheapest place to stay for a month and I can't tell you what luck. I ended up in the most BEAUTIFUL and perfect place for ME. Yes, I have to walk 4 miles for groceries. And 4 miles back. But I love walking and along with my intention of writing I also intended to spend more time in nature and there is no easier way than necessity. So here I am, on my last full week in paradise that has been equal measure productive and reflective.
Greetings from my hill. May we all figure out how to take space when it is not given.